My arms fall off.

The Fear of Falling

One of the greatest fears of those who live in every day contact with me is that my arms will fall off.

This is a legitimate fear by those who have never actually experienced my arms falling off, it sounds scary.  It sounds dreadful, but those who have lived through an experience will tell you. . .it's not as bad as it sounds. I think.

My arms have been "falling off" since I was in middle school. I don't remember the very first time, but I do remember a few of the occasions.

Oh the memories

• Brushing my teeth
• Driving a go-cart at Tropical Island
• Thrown into a pool, deep end of course. (Still thankful to Brent for jumping in and assisting. Thank you Brent. I am forever thankful.)
• Attempting to lay down on the floor (That ended in a trip to the ER at the beach. Thank you Hannah for staying the entire time with me no matter how tired you were or how long the trip home would be the next day. You have always been by my side.)
• Closing a rear door to a vehicle
• On the basketball court during a game (On video!)
• Body Flow (a yoga/Pilates/ti chi class)
• Attempting to shake someone's hand -- awkward
• Sneezing
• Turning to say hello
• Running
• Drive through at the bank
• And many more. . .

It's me.

Arms falling off (more commonly known as dislocating or when I'm lucky just separation-- yes there is a huge difference, and by huge I mean one entails fainting and torn tendons, muscles, etc the other just pain) is a part of my life.

It is not something I fear, for I would have to live my life in a constant state of fear.

It is who I am.

When you fall, you brace yourself with your arms. When I fall, I pull my arms in and go face first into the ground. No need to stick my arms out, they will both fall off and I will still land on my face, so I remove the arms and just land on the face. It's not pretty. Advert the eyes if you see me go down.

I've had six surgeries on my shoulders. The latest, this past summer, has worked the best ever. My orthopedist says it's a surgery he usually reserves for the elderly because it significantly limits range of motion. I on the other hand, still have more range of motion in this shoulder than most toddlers, let alone adults.

I say, why didn't we do this YEARS ago. Oh that's right, it's an old person surgery. I had to wait till I was closer to 30.

I thank my parents for all the therapy, surgeries, deductibles and co-pays they paid through the years. I am pretty sure this is what prompted my dad to tell Brooks 'no take backs' when he asked to marry me. In fact, I am sure the conversation went more like "She's on your medical insurance now! No take backs!"

The non-old person surgery shoulder is 'hanging on' for now. . .it's attached. It's a good day.

What I've Learned

My greatest lessons in life, I have learned from my arms. They have taught me a lot of cliches . Get Back up when you've been knocked down. When one door closes, another opens. The best of friends stick with you through the hardest of times. Pain is temporary. You get the idea, but the truth is my arms did teach me all these things.

I wouldn't be who I am today without my arms that 'fall off.'

Oh and my brother and sister used to sit at the kitchen table telling me at night while I was sleeping they would sneak in my room at night, take my arms off and put them on the wrong side. They thought this was hilarious!

It's rough being a middle child and have arms that fall off.